The new migrant’s mental preparation
Sorry that I’ve been incommunicado the past few days. My original plan of blogging every day in Adelaide flew out the window because of my schedule and because I was tired out from walking everywhere (which is awesome).
I’ve been meeting a whole interesting bunch of people in Adelaide the last few days and listening to their stories. If there’s one thing I can say from what I gleaned from those encounters is that your attitude as a migrant is so very important. You need to be positive, and you need to have a paradigm shift in your thinking to survive in Australia as a new migrant.
There is much information out there about what you need to do to get yourself a visa to Australia or what you can do when you arrive. But there’s not as much in regards to the mental preparation that you need to have before coming over here.
Mental preparation, I believe, is just as important (or even more so) than the physical preparation. From what I can glean from the numerous migrants I’ve spoken to, having the right mindset is really vital. You need to:
Let go of previous privileges and comforts
You may have had a big house, a maid and a personal driver in your Malaysian life. In Australia, unless you’re one of the very lucky few (and loaded), you’d have to start from scratch again. That means taking the public bus. Or cooking all your meals. Or doing without that HDTV or chauffeur. Longing for the comforts of your previous life will only bog you down with unnecessary regrets. Find creative ways to carve a comfortable and enjoyable lifestyle for yourself on a shoestring budget. It could be fun. Living a simpler life is an opportunity to discover who you are without your possessions.
Realise that you may not work in the same profession or industry, at least for a while, and accept that fact.
Are you in love with your job as I am? I am still struggling to say goodbye to my profession, and am slowly accepting the fact that I will never probably be that in Australia again. However, fortunately, there are ways for me to indulge in it even without a job here – and for that, I am fortunate. (I am a writer.) Being exposed to a new occupation – no matter how “low” – is a chance to build toughness and also an opportunity to get new skills.
Not tie your sense of worth to what you do for a living
People “back home” were always fascinated with what I did, and could never resist saying my name in tandem with my job title. I grew uncomfortable with that, because I didn’t like how much I enjoyed the kick I’d get out of it! I later realised just how much I have tied my identity with my job. Am I less of a person if I did not have a fancy title tagged to the end of my name? Well, of course not! And this is something we have to let sink in.
Be prepared for months and months of joblessness
Here’s a cold, hard fact: No matter how qualified you were, no matter how much experience you had back in the “Tanah Air”, all this matters squat in the Lucky Country. They want you to have “Australian work experience”, and if you don’t have that – it’s going to be tough. And in South Australia, due to the parochial nature of the job hiring practices, it is going to be especially difficult. Many had to take courses to requalify (and a lot of times, even that doesn’t work!). Many chose to volunteer or work odd jobs. Don’t be embarrassed to do that – it’s an honest living and in Australia, nobody cares what you do as long as it’s not illegal. Get your foot in the door and be prepared to work very, very hard at securing that first job.
Accept that this is the way things are in Australia, and getting angry about it is a waste of energy
Well, you can complain until the sky turns red, but things will never change in Australia unless you are God. It’s the culture here – some companies are just very reluctant to give foreigners a chance so you will have a tough time of it. What you can control, however, is your reaction to these circumstances. While some negativity is inevitable and you do need to express your anger and frustration once in a while, don’t dwell and wallow in it as it’ll sap the strength out of you. That strength you’ll you need to fight this tough battle and to endure your trials. Have a positive attitude – happiness is a state of mind, not of being.
Stop comparing Australia with Malaysia and vice versa
I mean, why wish that an apple was an orange? Yes, Australian people have different values and way of doing things – you can choose to be bitter and angry about it. You can even choose to have a superior attitude (“Man, did we do things so much better back home!”) so that you can feel better. But really, is this how you want to exist in the country you’ve fought hard to get a chance to live in? Again, one has to let go of wishing things could be just like Malaysia because they’re not gonna be like Malaysia. We can either choose to dwell on the good or the bad side of Australia. If you choose to dwell on the bad, then you’ll be miserable. It’s really just your choice.
Stop reminding people how awful Malaysia is
And while you may have “escaped” and am now “safe” in Australia, must you sneer at the country that gave you opportunities and educated you? Now, I know where this is heading. You’re saying that the gomen did not lift a finger to help you. Some of that is true, but who you are today is because of the opportunities and policies of the Malaysian government. And you know what, looking at who I am today and the kind of life I had – I don’t think I turned out too badly.
I need to blog about this more because I can go on and on about it. But frankly, Malaysia isn’t as terrible as you think it is. Sure, it’s not heading where we’d like it to, but must you put down the people who have made the choice to stay there? Their life isn’t as hopeless and terrible as you think. Also, having this mindset means that you’re a “failure” if you return to what you consider an inferior country. And that’s not true.
Treat this as an experience and an adventure, no matter how the journey will turn out
We have been taught that the only worthwhile experience to have is one that ends in success. But yet, many successful people went through numerous failures and in each experience they learned something new. In my life, that’s true as well. I’ve gone through quite a few heartbreaking and nerve-wrecking failures in my personal and professional life and almost all of them I’ve count as a blessing. Why? Because they’ve made me stronger and have changed me for the better.
Like I told Tony, a new Singaporean migrant – no matter how badly this turns out, this experience will enrich you in many ways. You’ll never return home empty.
PS: Just because I wrote all this, doesn’t mean I’m a master and 100% mentally ready for the move! I’m just a student like everyone else 
Adelaide Day 2: Happy New Year! 2012, here I come!
Walked about 15 minutes to meet two gal friends and we walked together to Elder Park, which is next to River Torrens. There was already a sizeable crowd there at 8pm. And when the fireworks started – wow!
What a lovely way to usher in the new year. You know, I usually don’t do anything special during this time of the year. I think the most special thing I did was to park my car beside my apartment and stare up at the fireworks lighting up the sky while the dogs from the shelter across the street bayed and howled. I’m not the sort to battle traffic to park myself in a squashed corner at KLCC or Bukit Bintang. I prefer to go to my parents’ apartment, crane my neck at an awkward angle and see the fireworks light up the area from the corner of my eye.
But 2012 is a special year. It’s the year of change for me. And I thought I’m gonna celebrate it with style. With my pals beside me on the grass, we watched in awe as the fireworks lit up the sky. What a sight it was!
So what if I was heckled at by some drunk yobs in a car on the way to Elder Park? So what if one of the drunk, red-faced women called me a “MOFO [racist epithet]” and declared that it was great to be racist. The world is awesome right now, and it doesn’t matter if some folks are sadly drinking their brain cells away. For me and my friends, we are ushering in 2012 with style.
Happy New Year guys!!
Adelaide Day 1: Peacherines and New Year’s eve
View of Adelaide city from the apartment I'm bunking in.
So here I am in Adelaide. It’s the peak of summer here, and I landed just in time to enjoy the heat wave. It’s not as bad a summer as I remember though – it’s still cool indoors. Back in the day in Perth many yonks ago, I remember I just could not escape the heat, even indoors!
Getting my visa validated was a little underwhelming. The officer just stamped my passport and my visa’s validated. Wala! The clock has started to tick.
Going through customs was a breeze – brought some Tambun biscuits for my kind hosts who are not just putting me up but showing me around Adelaide – and I was flagged through without a problem. My friend XW picked me up from the airport and then took me out for some breakfast (camomile tea was all I could eat right then) and then later for some marketing.
A peacherine - mutant offspring of a peach and a nectarine.
I love, love, love Australian markets – they are bursting at the seams with fresh fruits and vegetables, and I went a little nuts over the fruits. 500g of cherries for AUD$3.50? And they have something awesome called “peacherines”, which is a cross between peaches and nectarines. Also, a giant head of cauliflower for just AUD$2?? And the meat? It’s freakin’ cheap here! Went to Chinatown where I bought about 580g of minced pork for just AUD$4*. Even after conversion that’s crazy cheap. It hasn’t hit me until now how expensive food had gotten in Malaysia.
I definitely can see myself living here. With its pretty houses, lovely fresh produce market (I cook my food most of the time anyway), great libraries, life can be really comfortable here if you’re earning in Aussie dollars. I just have no idea, however, how I’m going to find a job to make all that a reality. Everything’s still hazy in that department, especially since my vocation is not in demand in Adelaide. (Or anywhere in Australia for that matter. Let’s just say it’s an industry on the decline.)
XW tells me that lots of migrants end up in as cleaners because you can earn a lot as one. I definitely do not mind that to tide things by, but I definitely do want a permanent job sooner or later.
I know a friend of a friend who can’t really use her UK law degree and ended up working as a receptionist here. (She’s now full-time in admin.) So, all is not lost. I’m just wondering whether this is what I want to do? Give up my career for good and work as an administration staff?
This whole emigration thing has gotten me thinking about what I really want. I have to admit that a lot of times I’ve been tailoring my life to fit this whole emigration thing. But what if what I really want deep down doesn’t tally with this emigration exercise? I must say I’m afraid of looking to deep to find out what’s really there.
* A bottle of mineral water is AUD2.99. It doesn’t seem right that it costs about as much as 500g of pork!
Making my initial entry
It’s rather symbolic, I suppose: I’ll be landing in Adelaide on Dec 31 to make my initial entry – I’ll be verifying my visa. So, after this the clock will begin ticking. My visa will be activated and I’d be able to live in Australia for three years.
Well! My two-year journey has come to this! It has been … challenging. I’ve been torn between anticipation and sheer terror at the horror stories I’ve heard of people trying to start a new job only to stumble again and again because of Adelaide’s limited job prospects. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve woken up in the wee hours of the morning, wondering what I’m getting myself into in this migration adventure.
And I realise part of the migration journey is also to battle your fears and insecurities, and to look at life in another way. Who am I without the job that I love and that has come to define who I am? Who am I without the comforts I’m used to – the posh restaurants I dine in at least a few times a month, and the hotel stays and overseas vacations I indulge in once in a while?
Well, that’s a post for another day!
I’ll be in Adelaide for two weeks, and I hope to meet as many Malaysian Adelaideans as I can. I know that in the end, the decision is ultimately mine and noone can make up my mind for me, but meeting these folks and seeing how things are in Adelaide could help me have a clearer picture.
You’ve already made up your mind. You just don’t know it.
That’s what a good friend told me a few weeks ago. I stared at her incredulously, and she sighed.
“What can I tell you to convince you that I’m right? You just want people to agree with you about your decision, actually.”
She isn’t the first person to tell me I’ve made up my mind. Okay, she’s the second.
And after a week in Hong Kong, immersed in the sights and sounds and remembering how much I love, love, love travel. I have to agree with her. I have made up my mind that I’m going. I’m scared shitless about doing so, but a big part of me is saying, “Go. Because if you don’t, you’re going to wither in some way.”
As I read blogs about people who decide to go on a career break, a sabbatical and travel the world, I realise that this feeling – fear, anxiety, panic – is pretty normal before making the big leap. What I’m feeling is normal, not an indication that I’m about to make the biggest mistake of my life. A lot of these folks felt the same thing I did, felt the fear and did it anyway. And many did not regret doing it.
I want to make the move to Australia because I need to. I just simply need to. I can’t really put it in words. I’m not moving because of my kids (don’t have any). I am not moving for “greener pastures” (what the hell does that mean anyway?). I am, cliched as it is, trying to find myself.
I felt almost guilty for abandoning a job that has given me so much, and which was my dream job for years. Like, I should be happy. I should be happy with this for the rest of my life, right?
No, because people – and companies change.
After a recent ‘pep talk’ by our CEO, I realise how much my vision has changed in line with the company’s. To put it simply, my company’s vision is no longer my vision. For the longest time I thought I could ignore that, just be real, and chug on.
A colleague told me, when I was telling her about this, that I must be a person who believes in utopia to think like that.
Actually, LOL, no. I am such a realist that it stands in the way of living my dreams. Here’s the thing: I am no longer content to live my life closing one eye.
So I’m not happy with my work – but it pays the bills. I hate how the company does things, but if I stay low and pretend that it’s not happening, I can pocket my salary and buy nice things. I may not be happy being in Malaysia, but as Zewt always quips – but the food is good. I’m tired out of my mind doing what I do, burnt out to the gills, but I have a nice apartment and a 42″ flat screen TV.
None of this is enough anymore. What I want is a life worth living!
Can you relate to that? Have people looked at you sideways for even daring to voice that desire out? Well, I can tell you that they won’t be happy that you’re trying to bust out of something they’ve grudgingly accepted. The thing is to focus on what you want for your life and to hell with everything else.
Though, I am only learning this myself
I got my visa!
But my reaction was not what you’d think it’d be. I remember getting that call in March and my heart sank. Yes, it sank.
In a way, finally having the visa in my passport was an anti-climatic experience. I trudged to the Australian embassy in KL. Got security checked. Headed upstairs where I’ll get the visa. There was no queue. I headed to the counter. Lady asked for my passport, and she stuck something on it. And then she handed me the visa. Wala. I’m now a certified Australian resident. I felt relieved that my long journey of documents, tests and more documents have come to and end. But I was also confronted with the undeniable fact that NOW, I have to make that decision whether I should go or not. It’s not longer the question of what if, but when.
I had hoped that the visa would be granted later. I wasn’t ready. Still am not. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wondering about my situation, dreading the day that I’ll have to pack up and leave.
Not exactly the expected reaction of a person who had spent lots of money to obtain a golden ticket to the “lucky country”, is it?
The thing is, life in Malaysia has gotten … well, fulfilling somewhat. Despite the chaos of the political situation. I have found a church that has become a wonderful support system for me, and while work isn’t the best thing ever (honestly, I’m still being overworked like crazy), it is tolerable.
But my friends are encouraging me to take the chance, to break out of my comfort zone.
Because the honest goodness truth is I’m just afraid to step out of my safety zone. I’m terrified of what’s out there … joblessness, uncertainty, no income … all this seems a wee overwhelming for me to deal with.
I wonder if any of you felt that way before the Big Move?
A drone speaks
Feeling a little down today. Things are changing so much at my company, and not really for the better.
Have always been the kind of person to look at the silver lining and try be upbeat about things, but today I felt the sting of being an underappreciated, overworked automaton more keenly than usual. Was given a RM200 increment. Yes, pathetic. While a colleague got promoted to a more senior position. We were equal in rank before.
It bites because I’m being asked to do more and yet am only given RM200 more for my trouble. And recently, one of my projects was given to another person, and now I’m under this person. And I wasn’t even told about the change. The powers that be as usual just assume that I will play along like a nice little coolie.
And I can only shake my head and wonder how long of this I can take. The other day a friend of mine expressed horror that our pay is so low. I’m horrified myself, thank you very much.
So I’m looking more and more at Australia as some kind of escape from my situation. It’s not exactly a healthy way to see things, I know. I mean, Oz has its own set of problems, and I most probably will not hold the same job … but yet, psychologically my mind is hopeful about Australia. Perhaps a change of environment and challenges is just what this overworked drone needs.
That, in Australia, at least, they appreciate you a little bit more and don’t work you like cattle. I hope.
Well, my friends do say that they are treated better at their workplaces in Oz than in Malaysia, where people are often exploited etc. So I do hope it’s no myth. But I suppose it’s always best to keep expectations low.
Okay, I need something to cheer me up. Heading for the snack bar, people. I hear the Kit Kats calling….
A former Malaysian speaks up
I didn’t plan to write more about “why it sucks to be in Malaysia” but I stumbled on this comment in a blog post by a Singaporean about the Malaysian brain drain situation and found the comment really sad and moving.
Here it is:
* Ex-Malaysian in USA
* January 16th, 2010I don’t normally contribute to blogs but you guys have indeed touched a raw nerve. I was a Chinese Malaysian. I love Malaysia and will always do. I came to the US ~20+ years ago to seek higher education (that’s right – my SPM/STPM results weren’t good enough to get me into a local U because I was a Chinese Malaysian). It obviously was very very frustrating to me. It was not my choice I was born a Chinese Malaysian. Nobody asked me what race I wanted to become before I was born, but I was punished for being a Chinese… something that was not my fault or even my choice. If Allah offered to convert me into a Malay Muslim; hence a bumiputra, I definitely would have taken up the offer. But it was a curse no one could break. My best friend who was Malay with lower grades entered the very local U that rejected me. I recently met him on Facebook – he told me that he was too ashamed to contact me all these years because of that. I took comfort in knowing that, and he will forever be my best friend.
If Abdullah and Budakmelayu are reading this – please imagine for a moment yourself in my shoes. When it is happening to you… when you are denied of something as precious as education because of the color of your skin, it is very very personal. No matter how much I tried to understand the historical perspectives of bumiputra status, no matter how much my brain understands it, my heart still felt the injustice, which was very overwhelming, because it was very personal. Everytime I had homesick or even when I miss Malaysian food, I was reminded about the bumiputra system. I attended a university with many MARA-sponsored Malay students – they all owned superbikes like Kawasaki Ninja (most probably paid by the Malaysian government too). They would zoom pass me when I walked home from work at night I had to work as a janitor, and even illegally off-campus as a waiter and other odd jobs to support myself through school. I thought to myself… I probably have better grades that those Malays too, but I had to clean the toilets while they enjoyed their superbikes because I was unfortunate to have been born a Chinese Malaysian.
Now ~20+ years later, I am a proud US citizen, and raising a family in the US. I remember when I was sworn in as a US citizen, the officer said that there is no such thing as a second class US citizen; there is only ONE class of US citizenship… I immediately had goose bumps all over… I told the guy who was sitting beside me that I was becoming a US citizen for this very reason; because I didn’t want to be a second class citizen. I am also quite proficient in Mandarin now and feeling very proud being a Chinese American!
My personal story is one of many. I have a group of 30+ Ex-Malaysian family friends here with similar stories of their own. I have had many years to reflect on this issue although it is still mind-boggling to me how much of the bumiputra system has impacted my personal life, my being away from my parents to study, live, and finally settle abroad to raise my own family. I am not angry at anyone. I am writing in this blog simply to share my personal story. Most government policies have no impact on us but when they do they could have a very profound and personal impact. Though not always the case, mine was definitely a blessing in disguise. I am doing way better than my Malay friend in Malaysia, emotionally (yes, pride!) and financially (don’t mean to brag here). I can tell my personal story proudly as a professor to aspire engineering students; I doubt my Malay friend can do the same. Peace.
It’s so sad. I see his story repeated so much in Malaysia. I felt this bitterness quite early too. I was a very ambitious child, so when I found out that I may not be able to go to local universities because I am not of a certain colour I was filled with rage. At the age of 12.
This stupid, racist policy is also affecting Malays; I’m sure there are many good people out there ashamed about the policy.
Ah, but I’m going blue talking about stupid people. Wherever you are, say a prayer for our poor country.
Now I may be going sooner than I thought
So my migration agent called just a minute ago, and he said that I’m not affected by the changes. For now He also told me that due to the recent changes, the processing time for my application will be … shorter.
Gasp.
Okay, how screwed up is it that I’m not very anxious when I find out that I may not qualify for emigration but my anxiety levels shoot up to the roof when I find out that I may be going to Australia sooner than expected??
I mean. Seriously, what in the world am I going to do when I do get my visa in July this year?
How do I rent out my apartment?
How do I get rid of 1000 over books?
How do I get enough money to survive in Oz for a year?
How do I say goodbye to good
friends and family??
How how how
I bet my shrink has something to say about this.
Maybe I should start reading more Malaysian news to depress myself more so that I’ll be more eager to go. After all Anwar, the supposed hope of the nation, is heading to prison. Again. And justice has just been buggered in Perak. And my company ain’t what it used to be, eventhough I still find it swell to work there. (Though, personality-wise, I’ve been told that I’m insufferably “see the silver lining” in everything.)
Oh yeah, and there are a couple of office vultures that I’ll not be too sorry to leave 
In fact, sometimes when I see them a voice goes off in my head: “Hahaha. Sayonara you suckers! Good riddance!!”
Also, like my friend Racheal said to me, it’s a chance for adventure, and it forces you to grow!
I mean, let’s face it … I’m not getting any younger, and if I don’t do this now I may look back when I’m in my eighties and mutter to myself, “Now, if only I made the leap and left for Australia in my thirties…”
Now if any one of you (what, three readers so far… can give me tips on how to sell off 1000 books in a matter of months, it’ll be awesome.
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