In a way, finally having the visa in my passport was an anti-climatic experience. I trudged to the Australian embassy in KL. Got security checked. Headed upstairs where I’ll get the visa. There was no queue. I headed to the counter. Lady asked for my passport, and she stuck something on it. And then she handed me the visa. Wala. I’m now a certified Australian resident. I felt relieved that my long journey of documents, tests and more documents have come to and end. But I was also confronted with the undeniable fact that NOW, I have to make that decision whether I should go or not. It’s not longer the question of what if, but when.
I had hoped that the visa would be granted later. I wasn’t ready. Still am not. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, wondering about my situation, dreading the day that I’ll have to pack up and leave.
Not exactly the expected reaction of a person who had spent lots of money to obtain a golden ticket to the “lucky country”, is it?
The thing is, life in Malaysia has gotten … well, fulfilling somewhat. Despite the chaos of the political situation. I have found a church that has become a wonderful support system for me, and while work isn’t the best thing ever (honestly, I’m still being overworked like crazy), it is tolerable.
But my friends are encouraging me to take the chance, to break out of my comfort zone.
Because the honest goodness truth is I’m just afraid to step out of my safety zone. I’m terrified of what’s out there … joblessness, uncertainty, no income … all this seems a wee overwhelming for me to deal with.
I wonder if any of you felt that way before the Big Move?