Well, I did it folks. I quit my job. Without another one lined up! I actually handed in my resignation two weeks ago and I was overcome with a curious sense of peace. Maybe because I’ve finally decided what I wanted to do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally get panicky, especially when I read doom and gloom stories about how global recession is going to happen any time soon. Or how South Australia has the highest unemployment rates!
Today I had one of those panic-stricken days. My plans to fly over to Adelaide hit some trouble because my company couldn’t release my tax documents in time. Basically, if you want to leave the country more than three months, you need to settle your taxes before you go. Interestingly, I didn’t know that. Like, duh. Any mention of taxes always sends my blood pressure through the roof because I hate dealing with the IRB and I keep having nightmares of some tax dude telling me, “Well, due to some clerical error you actually owe us $10k. Sorry!”
So, anyway, because of that I booked my plane tickets far too early, and now I have to cancel it only to find out that I can’t fly off on July 18 like I planned. I would have to leave possibly in the last week of July instead. As a result, the accommodation that I managed to arrange for myself won’t be there anymore and I have to make alternate plans. *Frustration to the max*
Okay, so back to reality here.
Today, maybe because of all the hiccups to my supposedly-well ordered plans, I started sweating bricks, asking myself: “You not only quit a well-paying job, you also turned down and even better paying job with a nice, fancy title. And all to plunge yourself into uncertainty in Australia? Are you crazy or what?”
Nightmarish scenarios flooded my mind immediately. Of me, hunting for a job for months upon end. Of being penniless. Of starving … of being homeless.
I was on a roll.
So, I had to take a deep breath and talk to my panic-stricken self and told myself that this is something I’ve wanted to do for years, and nothing ventured, nothing gained. In the end, a sense of peace came over me, when I asked myself this: What would you be doing if you didn’t go?
And I realised I will be doing the exact same thing as I ever did. Nothing will change. And that includes being afraid of change! And if there’s one thing I want now are opportunities to expand beyond my fear, to conquer it, even. If I decide to stay, that’s equivalent of scuttling back to my shell.
I cannot say that migrating to Australia will be a smooth journey for me. But if there’s one thing I know – I’ll be intimate with the fears I’ve avoided all my life and I want to see how I can overcome them. And who knows what kind of opportunities will open for me?
Photo by webslave05.